


Choices

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, Points of View, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-26
Updated: 2003-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian's feelings after Justin kisses him in episode #308.





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Orange is the new blue.” I say with contempt to Justin. “What the fuck was that?” 

“She asked me” he replied like I was stupid, as he tidied up some trivial thing at the other end of the room. 

“Well who told you to answer? I said acidly. 

“I was just trying to be helpful” 

“Ah, by…undercutting me in front of the client,” I say in a voice which said, how on earth did you think that would help? “Your job,” I said as condescendingly as I could manage when addressing Justin, “was to put up the boards – which you could barely do” I paused for breath, “and keep your mouth shut.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding like he genuinely meant it. “It won’t happen again.” 

“You’re damn right it won’t,” I said firmly. I was still his boss, even if just the sight of him did make my heart race and my cock twitch. “You’re through.” 

“Are you firing me?” he said incredulously. 

“You wanted to learn job experience right?” I say. “Lesson one, you fuck up, you’re gone,” I continue, lifting up a pair of the sunglasses that vanguard were now promoting to inspect them. They were actually quite smart. 

“You got the account,” he said, as if I had forgotten. 

“Yeah, and she got my balls thanks to you” I reply heatedly. 

“Brian,” he said knowingly. Then he decided to change tact. He cleared his throat and said in a wheedling, arse-sucking voice, “Mr Kinney, I would appreciate it if you would give me a second chance” 

“Never should have given you the first one,” I reply as if indifferent. “Now pack up your shit, and go home.” 

He stands there open mouthed for a minute, obviously trying to decide what to do, while I continue uselessly to inspect the sunglasses that I have been putting down and repeatedly lifting back up again throughout the conversation so as to give my hands something to do – as if, if they were not occupied, they would reach out and grab him and hold him so tight he’ll never be able to leave again. The devil makes work for idle thumbs. 

“I guess I should have expected this.” He said to me. “After all, you never wanted me here to begin with.” So he was going to play the ‘relationship’ game. “Didn’t want to have to see my face every day when you came in for work,” he continues mercilessly. I pace around various points of the room as if I’m not hanging on his every word. “Although a part of me was hoping that eventually you wouldn’t mind it,” he said, quieter now. “Maybe you’d even get used to it.” I laugh shortly at this. “I guess I was wrong to think that…mmm. Nah, fuck it,” he finishes, “never mind,” as if what he was going to say wasn’t worth it because of my Oscar winning performance of steadfastly not caring. I can’t let him leave though, now that we’re near the hot topic of me and him privately. 

“What, that when you’re little romance with Paganini Jnr was over you could come running back to me?” I say, as I shove a pair of the glasses into their case, to both provoke guilt in him for what he did and plant the seeds of the idea that he wants me back. 

“Yeah, something like that.” He said, gesticulating with his hands. My heart leapt silently in my chest. 

“Sorry,” I say being my usual stubborn self. 

“I know,” he said. “It’s stupid.” 

“Almost as stupid as falling for his bullshit in the first place,” I say. I can’t believe Justin would pick Ethan over me. “But you’re young,” I say. “inexperienced.” He loses it. 

“What and you’re so smart?” he says unbelievingly. “If you had any fucking brains at all you never would have let me leave.” He says this with such passion that it’s obvious that it has been building up inside of him – the confusion, the resentment. “You would have told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life – that I would live to regret it.” I take a step closer to him. “That what you gave me was worth a thousand…million times worth what he had to offer.” So he did appreciate me. I look at him properly for the first time since he left. “You would have told me that you loved me.” He continues matter of factly. I let my head drop. This is what it really comes down to – my inability to express emotion. “That you would go on loving me, even after I was gone.” He’s such a romantic fucking twerp. 

“Is that what you were waiting to hear,” I say tauntingly, moving even closer. 

“Yes.” He replies defiantly. “But as usual you never said it, so it’s just as well that I go.” He makes to leave, and now it’s my turn to lose it. I put a hand on his leg and push him back as if to say, we’re not fucking finished here, so don’t walk away from me. 

“That is so like you!” I say, finally admitting that I have been ‘with’ Justin long enough to recognise his traits and habits. “You don’t hear what you want, so you leave.” I say vehemently. “Try standing up for yourself for a change,” I continue, as if the idea is novel. “Have some balls.” 

How will he react to this? He studies me for a long moment, and I see resolve spark suddenly in his eyes. He reaches out and grabs the back of my head, pulling it down to meet his, and then presses his lips against mine in a fierce kiss. I can’t help but respond, even though I swore to myself I wouldn’t. And as we kiss hard for the briefest of moments it feels like we’ve never been apart. It’s amazing how you can see a person almost every day (like in the diner where I couldn’t fucking avoid him) and not realise how much you’ve missed them until you touch them. I mean, I knew I missed him; I just didn’t realise how much. And then he pulls away sharply, making me stumble forwards slightly, and strides past me with satisfaction, leaving me confused and in inner turmoil, wondering what the hell just happened.


End file.
